Sunday, October 18, 2009

Sing, sing a song

Things have been going well on the dating front so far. It's nice having someone hold your hand while you wait in line for your take out order to be called. It's nice having someone run your bath water and then take your dogs for a walk while you relax in a cloud of peaceful bubble bath. My phone is the popular cell in town vibrating more than some other equipment in my drawer. And when Mom looks at me, all she does is smile. Happy day.

But I'm new to all the couple lingo and behaviour. Whenever we go to a BBQ with friends and their girlfriends I now have to help the girls make salads and listen to them complain about being with their boyfriends for seven minutes and not having a ring on the finger yet. Thanks for nothing, Beyoncé ; instead of putting a ring on it why don't you just put a sock in it?

Chris just smiled when I told him about the crazies and said I'm more than welcome to hang with the guys around the fire, drinking beer and talking about football. I could do that. The closest I came to chopping an onion was when I leaned forward to look at Gordon Ramsey's nails while he did it on the television.

And all the questions are just killing me.

"So you guys have a favorite restaurant with a favorite table? And you always get served by your favorite waiter? Isn't it just the best walking into a place and getting recognised by the staff?"

Yes, almost like jail I presume.

"What about your names for each other? I call Steven 'Wonderboy'. Get it? Steven? Stevie Wonder?"

I'm sure 'Wonderboy' wishes he had the power to become deaf and blind. Maybe that would scare you away.

And my favorite:

"What is your song?"

When you don't have an answer to this question, they look at you as though you're at a comic convention and failed to identify Logan as Wolverine. It's like sacrilege.

The problem is that Chris and I have very different taste when it comes to music. When you browse through the Cds in his car you'll find Nirvana, Foo Fighters, RHCP and Pearl Jam. When you shuffle through my iPod you'll be listening to a mixture of Alanis Morissette, The Killers, One Republic, The Frames and Elisa.

Songs aren't just songs to me. Their like friends. The words bring you comfort when you need it most laying on your bed crying as though the world is going to end right that second; sometimes they make you feel happy and crazy and lifts the mood in the room to blazing hot temperatures. They inspire you, they calm you, they speak the words you sometimes cannot find yourself.

When I hear a certain song or two my whole body turns into one big goose bump. Like my first car accident. Fergie's Big girls don't cry was playing when the guy hit me WHAM! on the passenger side skipping the stop sign one Tuesday morning. It's like I told Dan: there wasn't much crying going on. I think the Everybody was kung-fu fighting would've been more appropriate as I haven't seen that much fist pumping since the political riots in the 80's.

Needless to say we still don't have a song. But then again: you're also not suppose to burp or fart or curse in front of each other in the first week of dating so maybe we're doing things differently than the norm. This way life is a little more interesting.


Anonymous said...

Hold off on a song - and try to avoid 'My Humps' if you can.

Judearoo said...

Delighted to hear things are going well, hon!
As for the whole hundred questions thing - yes it IS yuck (though I dont think anyone's ever asked me and my boy what our song is)

I got a full scale attack of something similar last night. Was at my friends' album launch and ended up talking to one of the band members' sisters. Nice girl except she simply WOULDNT stop talking about her future marriage, her engagement, and what mine would be like. Um hello, do I even know you?

Worst bit was when she looked at me, sighed and said; "You're SO pretty, you're going to make such a beautiful bride"

WTF??!!! Let me assure you there is NO wedding on the horizon! Even if there was - wtf???!!!! I choked on my guinness and had to be steered away by the boy who thought the whole thing was hilarious.

mo.stoneskin said...

I cannot believe you don't have Pearl Jam on your iPod. As far as I'm concerned our friendship is over...


Seriously though, get some PJ on the damn thing...


otherworldlyone said...

I don't have to be in a relationship to get the 100 questions. It's always, "Why are you still single", "Who was that guy you were talking to", "Don't you want more children before your ovaries dry up", "What happened to so-in-so".

The thing to do is come up with one generic response for dealing with these annoying and prying questions. Mine is, "Fuck off." Feel free to use it if you like.

I'm happy that you're happy and I can't wait to hear more about this new dating adventure.

BTW, the "put a sock in it" was brilliant.

Organic Meatbag said...

Awwww, so glad to hear that you are happy!

Gorilla Bananas said...

No song? I've always thought 'Ding-Dong the witch is dead' from the Wizard of Oz had a romantic side to it. I bet they'd really freak out if you said that.

ladytruth said...

Matthew: but it's such a catchy tune ... vomit.

Judearoo: it's like your business is now everyone else's business too. How did this happen! As for that crazy chick talking about the W-word: you should've cooled her down with your guinness. No wait, that just would've been a waste of booze ;)

mo: baby steps, they say. But I do like that song on one of the DVD's where the lady gets up and starts translating to some deaf people. That was pretty amazing.

OWO: I've been practising in the mirror: Fuck off. No exclamation mark. Just stating a fact. Can I say it with a southern accent? Since hearing you say it on the vlog I find myself saying it in what can only be described as a mixture between a wannabe American and flat South African accent. It ain't sexy.

Organic M: I'm happy about it too. Was so scared I'd be allergic to the feeling, but it's not that bad :)

Gorilla B: that is a brilliant idea. Even better than 'You raise me up' cause that would just be awkward when Chris starts laughing in front of the parents upon hearing that one.

Dan. said...

You know what, I've never met you, but I can just picture you striking a martial arts pose by the side of the road, just as the first bars to Everybody Was Kung Fu Fighting starts playing. For some reason, this pleases me immensely.......

As echoed by others, I'm really glad things seem to be going well for you on the Chris front.

And also curious as to what your song will be. Perhaps you can put a list up and let us choose?

Anonymous said...

Yes you can say it with a good old southern twang, drawl or mix of the two.

Constructive Attitude said...

awwwwwwwww im so glad i was right about chris!!! I cant stop smiling for you. and i say def stop hanging out with girls because 1. you wont have to cook and 2. you wonder why they dont have a ring, cuz they cant stop nagging.

but yayyyyyyyy you :)

Ed Adams said...

Ahhh, yes. The age old question.

To pick a song, or not to pick a song.

I suggest you just make up some stupid shit to shut them up.

Next time they ask, tell them it's a toss up between Phil Collins "Another day in Paradise" and 70's porn music soundtracks.

Tennyson ee Hemingway said...

I was going to put down that Lady Hem and I don't have a song either when I realised that, of course, we do. It's Alanis's 'Head over Feet.' And I HATE Alanis Morrisette. However, that song helped to convince Lady Hem that we should give this whole boyfriend/girlfriend thing a try, so I can't not like it. And, at most get togther's, I only ever hang out with the girls. Way more interesting. For a guy.

Shaunak said...

Keep "THE" song on hold...I never really got the concept..
Unconventional is the way to go...Nothing like sharing a good fart together to bring you two closer lolz
Have fun in the couples-way of life :)


JennyMac said...

I LOVE the way this story is coming along...all ears (or eyes since I am reading about it) for the next chapter. Cheers doll!

erin said...

This is so exciting!

Jeremiah and I have a song, but it's crazy, so I don't tell anyone what it is.

I'll fly in for the wedding, it would be better if it was at least 1 year away, being that I wouldn't leave the baby yet!

Meagan said...

Your friends are weird if they are asking you those questions. No one ever asked me those questions. We didn't have a song until we were engaged and had to pick one to dance too. We have a lot of favorite restaurants. Enjoy all the firsts you have together!

Jeve (aka John and Steve) said...

Already farting in front of each other!? Oh giiiiiiiiiirrl put a sock in THAT. I've been with Steve for 7 years it gets old quick. Leave something to the imagination.


Tom Bailey said...

"Songs being friends" - I sure you do not mean this literally at all in your case.. I am sure you have friends...

when you said that it reminded me of being in the car on the way to a football game with a friend ... he referred to his cd's as his "children" he said it in a way that was a bit too serious. Even when questioned he said yes these are like my children.

Critty Critty Bang Bang said...

I feel the same way about music Lady! Certain CD's (or MP3's "these days") commemorate certain stages in my life. When you said Alanis Morisette, I thought Jagged Little Pill and remembered being a freshman in highschool and begging for a pair of blue combat boots!
I also ADORE The Frames (the song Falling Slowly rocks my socks)...I think I might be you and the beau's long lost, same age, love very Twilight Zone. *=-P

ladytruth said...

Dan: I sure can rock a kung-fu move or two with painful consequences. As for the list, I might just do that!

Rebecca: I thing the mix might do the job, scaring off any and all potential wedding bell ringers, what do you think?

Constructive A: I agree. Keeping me out or away from the kitchen might just save their lives or house from burning down. Luckily Chris can cook like a champ.

Ed: Phil Collins could be the answer to this problem

Tennyson: I love that song and think it's actually a great fit for a couple-song. As for hanging out with the girls: it's the fastest and easiest way to catch up on local news without reading the paper.

Shaunak: it's really less stressful this way and because we're creatures of non-stressful habits, I have to agree with you on this one.

JennyMac: it's all very new and exciting to me and I hope we can keep this little flame alive :)

erin: now you have me all curious about this song of yours! It can't be worse than Venga Boys's Boom Boom Boom Boom?!

Meagan: some firsts are better than others :)

John: I'm sure you know all the secrets of how to keep your man; don't be shy sharing!

Tom: nah, that's why I have dogs ;)

CCBB: that's my favorite album of Alanis! And Falling Slowly happens to be my favorite song of the The Frames as well! Twilight Zone indeed ;)

Angie said...

I think it's possible to wait TOO long before burping and farting. Then it just becomes this weird thing that you don't talk about... then when someone finally can't hold in their gas, it's this big event. I say fart on the first date and get it out of the way early. If they don't want to see you again, they're uptight and you don't want them anyway.

Miss Journey said...

I love it! Forget all the "rules." As long as you two are happy, that's all that matters. Like you said, makes it more interesting and way more fun! :-)

Lola Lakely said...

Hello there lovely lady! "instead of putting a ring on it why don't you just put a sock in it"- Ugh, i feel exactly the same way! Why do some people have to measure a relationship bu whether or not there is a ring involved. *shivers*

You have no idea how happy this post made me- perhaps it's because you sound so much like me in your mentality and your humor! And seriously you mentioned Killers and One Republic- I would hug you for that alone!

staceyjwarner said...

Miss Lady,

Sounds like things are going swimmingly...I can't imagine having to be with the "women" although, now I find myself there anyway but women get better with age like a fine wine...I love my girlfriends.

A song? Yeah, don't worry about will either come naturally or it won't come along, both are fine...

much love

ladytruth said...

Angie: true, true. It's going to happen either way and you can only keep both in for so long until it errupts. Gross.

Miss Journey: I like the way you think :)

Lola: our type is few and far inbetween so we need to stick together!

staceyjwarner: if you were in the kitchen, I'd be there and hang out with you chopping lettuce, no problem. One can chop lettuce, yes? Oh whatever.

Pearl said...

My mother swears she has still not farted in front of my father.

They've been married 49 years. :-)


Madame DeFarge said...

Just wait when they start running your names together into one. That's the kiss of death. You suddenly become a romantic syllable.

ladytruth said...

Pearl: your mother must've been a royal lady or princess in her previous life ;)

Madame D: as long as I'm not 'Chris's chick' or 'The missus'; the rest I can handle. Romantic syllable: what a beautiful idea, Madame :)

Eric said...

In my highschool hometown, a date once vomited. It really was an icebreaker... :)

Surge said...

Wow, so I read about Granny Lil, the use of pregnant ladies, your friend Michaelm (which at first made me laugh), netball, your mother getting mugged, your mini sheep, Jelly Babies and Pule's Afrikaans story (Really interesting), cody the surfer, the start of your tenmen-tenweeks ("I actually wanted to go as Ladytruth, but my mom looked at me funny and asked what stupid pseudonym that was." LOL) and I'm still going.

Just give me a little bit of time cause it looks like you found someone and I wanna see the rest of how you got there =)

Surge said...

Oh, holy shit.
You're with Chris.

I didn't expect that at all.. it really makes me think about my ex-bestfriend. I miss him a lot of the time, we met when we were fourteen. We liked eachother from the start, and when I heard from my best(girl)friend ("Kirsten" on timesurge) that he wanted me to come up to her apartment because he had to ask me something, I ran up the 14 flight of stairs in 4 minutes. .. I was afraid of elevators.

That was after we'd hung out for a while I think. Or it might've been before. All I know is we were really comfortable around eachother and had a lot of fun, and one day he asked me out. It's just.. one of those feelings thats there but you know you shouldn't act on. We only went out for a week before I broke up with him, because it didn't feel right. That's when we stopped talking for almost a year.

I started missing him again, wishing for him back in my life and there he was. We started hanging out.. having alot of fun.. and then we fucked it up again. We made out for the first time we ever had, slept in the same bed that one night, and our friendship was gone because the next day it felt totally wrong to me. I told him the same thing I did the last time he tried to kiss me and I refused.
"I'm sorry. I can't."
"What do you mean?"
"I just can't."

We got in a fight, he's gone again.
I miss him. I'd cry if there weren't boogers amiss in my nose from this cold and a sore throat.

Surge said...

By the way.. and sorry for the third comment, but I should just enlighten you.
I think we farted in front of eachother from day one.

Deepika said...

Wow!! that sounds really interesting... :)
Someone is living every bit of her life.. ;) ;)

Hey good luck... And keep rocking :) M glad for you dear..

ladytruth said...

Eric: there's nothing like seeing a girl's breakfast all over the floor to get the love juices flowing, right? ;)

Surge: now that's what I call commitment! Or maybe you were just really bored, but I prefer the first one for the sake of my ego :)

Deepika: we need to live it while we still can, right? And thank you so much, D!

Sharon McPherson: AUTHOR / ARTIST said...

That's so funny. See, this is why I like being single ... don't get asked to muck in making sandwiches at parties, usually because I don't get invited to parties - well not couple parties ... Something to do with ... dare I say it ...

Anyway, good for you. :)

Politics of Love Chick said...

"When you don't have an answer to this question, they look at you as though you're at a comic convention and failed to identify Logan as Wolverine. It's like sacrilege."

LOL. I couldn't have described that any better.

I hear you on the songs...and since I'm still single I happen to love 'songs to lust by' - trust me its a epidemic with me, I can't stop blogging and sharing my 'what get's me off' playlist. Cause music is like a lover sometimes - it just says all the right things.

jules said...

I've been with my fellow for four years and we don't have a song. I don't feel as though I'm lacking anything either. A song doesn't make a successful couple. Enjoy all the newness of the relationship! It's so fun!

The Caped Tirader said...

Hey LadyTruth. I have returned to the blog world...will you do the same?