Tuesday, June 30, 2009

Online chatting: always telling the truth about yourself or not?!

(another one from http://www.postsecret.com/; go check out this amazing website)
So I'm feeling much better (thank you for asking!), but haven't been out and about mingling and cocktailing as it's fragile times money-wise and I'm just not feeling ready to give up my self-quarantined state. Therefore I've been exploring the art of online chatting and discovered some new material to add to my theory of "The Man Test" ;-)

Online chatting can be a crazy addictive thing for some people, I discovered. It's like creating a whole new identity of someone you want to be. I met this guy while playing poker that just started chatting me up. I suspect it's because of the picture I posted, in fact, I'm a 100 000% sure it was because of my endearing, naughty little smirk on the photo (remember: men see better than they think!). He wasn't anything near Hollywood-hunk material, but I was bored and curious to see where it would go. And boy oh boy, did HE go!

Let's call him Busy B for the sake of fictional truth :)

This chap didn't hold back: 30, from London, seeking serious relationship (as in I-want-to-have-your-babies), been in prison for a few years, but happily rehabilitated, very willing and very able on all fields according to his vital stats. In some ways I felt flattered, I mean, everyone has a Michael Scofield-fantasy, right?!

Soon before long his questions started bordering on third base-material. I was thinking: slow down, sailor! but couldn't help entertaining the thought of where Busy B thought this actually might go?! I know people meet over the Internet and make a connection (no pun intended), but surely not after the first couple of pickup lines? Pickup lines such as: "I find you so intriguing and mysterious" (LOL!), "Your eyes are as deep as the ocean", oh and my favourite: "If I received a nickel for everytime I saw someone as beautiful as you, I'd have five cents." In what bar did he hear that one?!

So after I get over being mysterious and intriguing and all (by not giving him my number!), it finally came to me: I was just the Typing test!!!

Now those of you that didn't have typing at school, preparing for a typing test is very, very easy: you just use all the practical knowledge you gained during the term. You hardly even look at the material the day before the test because you know you've done this a million times before and allthough there's always room for error, you trust yourself enough to go through the motions instinctively and even pass with distinction! The practical knowledge you require in typing is always very handy in the technological age we live in these days ... Am I right or am I right?!

Needless to say: I became a busy bee myself and been too busy to get back to the empty little promises Busy B so readily made :)

Until the next test!

Monday, June 29, 2009

Love "sick": are woman just a test a man needs to pass?

(an image from http://www.postsecret.com/ that I just cannot forget)
I've been feeling a bit under the weather these past couple of days and have been confined to the couch, stuffing myself with lozenges and drowning my sorrows in orange juice. I finally had the time for that movie marathon that I've always promised myself, but never could get around to lately. Consequently, most of the movies were, yeah, you guessed it: romantic comedies

Soppy-predictable-yet-addictive love stories where boy meets girl, have some kind of physical attraction where love is confused with a little bit of lust, overcome an obstacle and fall into each others eager arms. VERY romantic. But that got me thinking: what happens afterwards? What happens when the hickeys fade and the butterflies stop flying? And why does that happen? Especially the whole why-part. And between my millions of tissues and orange peels, it came to me. I will keep it simple ;-)

A woman is like a test a man has to study for. Just imagine that chemistry or history test you had to prepare for at school. Some men try cramming as much information in the shortest period of time as they possibly can and that will be called the "One Night Stand". Then there are other men that prepare for the test weeks in advance. They study and study and although there are still a few things they are unsure of, they have most bases covered, feeling confident about writing that test. That is called "The 2-Week Wooing Process" where men are interested in you and what you have to say about your best girlfriend Lucy that just got a new apartment, they open the door for you, gently slide they're hands in that crook of your back to steer you forward and gaze deeply into your eyes telling you they are the beautiful shade of blue like the ocean after a storm. Something along those lines.

But when the test is finished: they forget all about what they studied! They sometimes remember some of the basic facts that can help them get by (barely!), but forgot all about the information that the long questions consist of and if they had to write the test again, they'll score below average and some might even fail miserably. Alas, these men don't dwell on they're failures for long! It's not in a man's nature; always keep moving forward, remember!

Maybe the test should be prolonged to a series of 4 - 400 papers. Maybe these guys should get tutors? Or maybe they're just not that good with tests to begin with ;-)

Am I right or am I right?!